Tag: 2014

Mind, Body and Soul

I felt an overwhelming urge to post something today I didn’t know what then from nowhere the phrase “Mind, Body and Soul” popped into my noggin, so I decided to Google exactly what this phrase means….. None of the explanations work for me, plus I have the concentration power of a biscuit so I couldn’t be arsed to read them.

I think the “Mind Body and Soul” phrase came from my subconscious mind (I know a bit about this these days as I have downloaded so many hypnosis sleep App’s!!!). I am pretty sure my mental health and previous booze issues have taken My Mind, My Body and My Soul poked at them for many years and then decided to smash them to bits last year………. I was broken……… Now it is time to rebuild and the rebuild has begun. The builders I am using have been messing me about a bit so I have sacked the foreman and employed another, he is a bit wet behind the ears and new to the job but there is something about him, he has passion, he has determination, he has fight and he seems to have the abilities of a Weeble…………..       (Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down).

So, a while a go I read a memoir by a guy called Danny Baker I have mentioned him a couple of times before, some people find him too positive, I do sometimes, but there is something about him. I have tweeted him on Twitter and told him he helped switch back on my fight with his memoir. I have mentioned on this blog before that my recovery is a changing thing something will help for a while and then it begins to hinder so I have to find a different approach. I talk a lot about “Having Fight”, with no fight mental health will destroy you, your mind will keep telling you stuff that hurts and when it finds the right thing to hurt you it will batter you with it constantly, when you get used to that and it no longer bothers you your mind will find something else and start to batter you again. I talk a lot about “Battle” pretty much the same thing, you have to “Fight and Battle” to get your daily wins, sometimes you have to “Fight and Battle” just to get out of bed and have a shower. Who are the best people at Fighting and Battling?………. The Military, and of course the British Military are the best of the best.

I am my own soldier in my own war of the noggin, but mental health doesn’t just effect the mind it takes the whole of you, beats the shit out of you and then dumps you in a pile of shit and carries on laughing and poking and kicking you around the floor…..

Mental Health Destroy’s Your Mind, Body and Soul…

We have all seen the military films, there is always one recruit who fucks up and gets all the punishments but they always turn out to be the best recruit (Light bulb moment?). I have heard this said before and I have just Googled it and Google is never wrong, Google is your friend….

The Military……..

Essentially they are breaking down your civilian attitude and building you into a soldier.

Mental health……..

Essentially it breaks you down (Mind, Body and Soul) and you have to rebuild yourself.

A friend recently sent me a message on Facebook and suggested I should listen to a song and the chorus goes like this…..

In my recovery, I’m a soldier at war, I have broken down walls, I defined, I designed, My recovery……..

Keep Smiling 🙂

Please have a look at this page as well

Bring it on then 2014

2013 is over (talk about stating the obvious!)

2014 is here (FFS Jon your intelligence is on fire today dude!)

So what is 2014 going to bring?….. if you read a recent post my answer to that has a lot of swear words in so I will make it a little more pleasant……. I don’t know and don’t really care……. I do care but I will be taking it as it comes, day by day as much as I possibly can and get me a collection of Daily Wins….. hopefully!!

One of the first things I have to do is fill out lots of crappy forms to ensure I can receive my £71.70 per week, yup 1st January 2014 is the day I am officially receiving benefits, previously this would of bothered me a lot!!! I have always worked and over the last few years it has been based around sales in different guises. I have been made redundant a number of times, one time was after 7 days of starting with the company but I always just walked into another job, the reason for this is I am bloody good at what I do,  give me a target and I will smash it. The only target I struggled with is the volume one, but look at any of my figures and you will see volume is not important, quality counts and I brought quality. Hopefully one day telesales companies will realise they have to take the risk, reduce the volume targets and reap the benefits of quality!!!!!!!

The next thing I want to do is get a couple of tattoos, I’ve been banging on about getting a sleeve for a long time, but I can’t afford that at the moment….. I was going to base it around “bad comes good” on my forearm was going to be my “pit of doom” with the “demons” climbing out, I want the demons on my forearm so I could keep an eye on the little bastards at all times. Moving up the arm to a Smile Now Cry Later image, cus this sums up my life for the last 10 years, I don’t think that needs explaining? I would say moving to the “Bicep” area but I need to get me some of them bad boys first so I will just say the top of the arm was going to include lots of good things…. possibly “12 Steps” with the first step being a bright colour to signify that I have got “Step 1”, sobriety symbol, a butterfly (not very manly but very significant!) and a bit of a sunset to signify a new day? A few mansell’isms as well (words I have nicked to make me look thoughtful and deep). The tattoos I have decided on are just going to symbolise “now” and past significant dates. (possibly a stick man???)

After those things I don’t really know what is next (that is a lie but I have to keep a few things to myself).

Doing this blog has been amazing for me, I hope it has helped others as well, I know it has because some of you have told me so, but I also have to bear in mind it has probably damaged a few things for me as well!! My future job prospects and my future relationships being a couple of things that will of been damaged, who is going to want to take the risk to employ or get close to a Mentalist (I know words like that are not good for some people but it is how I cope with it, sorry). I have 2 illnesses…. “Alcoholism” yes in February I will be 11 years soba, but I am still an alcoholic, always have been and always will be, and “Mental”. Both are scary things to normal folk but I can state now for the record: –

Yup, I have issues but I am one of the most decent people you are ever likely to meet, loyal, honest, hard working, giving and of course incredibly handsome, maybe even beautiful!! 🙂

I know,  what a tosser eh! “hey ho” “it is what it is” & “that’s it really”

“that’s it really” is not a mansell’ism, it may become one? I have definitely stolen that one from someone. Unfortunately I didn’t know her for long, I met her through a Mental Health charity called Rethink (look them up, they do good stuff!). The last time I saw her she was really excited about Christmas, she gave me a Christmas card which I now have in a clip frame, she made me promise I would go to my brothers for Christmas day because she didn’t want me to be on my own. I found out on Monday that she had died, before Christmas. We got on instantly, I recongnised her from the area, probably for the wrong reasons. I don’t like putting it like that but I am just being honest, i’m not going to explain, but I got to know her a bit and as Danny Dyer would say “she waz a facking diamond”. During one meeting I was worried I had upset her a bit, but eventually she turned around and said things like “i’m starting to like you, you’re a cheeky one aren’t you”, “you’re trouble aren’t you?”, “you make me laugh, you’re funny”. One day I noticed she hadn’t brought a drink, she was obviously skint so I purchased her a Coke and she didn’t stop saying thank you, that for me, maybe selfishly, is a “gem” moment in my life :). I hope she was as happy as she seemed at the end, looking forward to watching her new DVD (The Croods), looking forward to Christmas and spending time with her family and especially spending more time with her sister and her nephews. I’m going to miss her at our meetings on a Monday……………….. RIP xxx

So….. Bring it on then 2014, your brother, 2013, kicked the shit out of me but I am still standing, your brother kicked the shit out of many people but they are still standing. 2014 you ain’t got nothing that I and others cant deal with, there will be things you bring that will knock us about a bit, but we will come back at you again and again and everyday day we will kick the shit out of you!!

Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down…..

Happy New Year everyone.

Keep smiling 🙂