survivin’

To watch Bastille – survivin’ click here.

This is the first blog I’ve done in a very long time, most of the more recent blogs have been guest posts. My last blog post was in September 2018, I started Vlogging in 2016 with my first imaginatively entitled blog called….

“First Vlog” posted on my YouTube channel
on the 8th June 2016….

I hadn’t planned to talk about the impact Bastille’s song survivin‘ has had on me in a blog, I’d mentally assigned this to a vlog, but this morning I found myself writing (with actual pen and paper) and it just felt right.

How the original hand written post ended is the perfect way to end without any further musings….

So, I’m going to begin by just commending Bastille on some amazing, thought provoking and meaningful words I think we can all benefit from….

I’m not gonna lie, say I’ve been alright

Cos it feels like I’ve been living life upside down

What can I say? I’m survivin’

Crawling out these sheets to see another day

What can I say? I’m survivin’

And I’m gonna be fine, I’m gonna be fine, I think I’ll be fine…

As I said “amazing, thought provoking and meaningful words I think we can all benefit from”.

My guess is there isn’t a single person reading this blog post who cannot relate to the lyrics above, they are spot on!!!!

So let’s get to what I found myself writing without planning to….

Bastille – survivin’ first line….

Had a great seven year white knuckle ride

Music can be a very important, positive tool in my battle against my mental illness and my demons. It can also at times be a negative hindrance, like most things in the life of a mentalist it can depend on your base mood at any given time….

Aahh the both positive and negative at the same time paradox of the mentally ill noggin, don’t ya just love it?…

Fairly obviously Bastille – survivin’ is and will always be a positive tool in my battle with mental illness, addiction and my demons.

There have been lots of songs that I’ve heard in the past that have lifted me, stayed with me and inspired me to keep on fighting.

This might sound a bit weird, but let’s be honest I am weird, but I’ve often thought…

“I wonder what would be in the soundtrack to my life, what would be my backing track?”

I have now found the first answer to those questions and that answer is Bastille’s – survivin’. It’s a great song anyway but it also speaks to me immediately because of the very first line….

“Had a great seven year white knuckle ride”

This line speaks to me immediately and it speaks to me on a number of levels….

“…. seven year….”

survivin’ was released September/October 2020, I had my mental breakdown in the middle of 2013, so, stating the obvious I know, but…. Seven years ago….

“….white knuckle ride.”

These words again speak to me on a couple of levels….

Firstly…. I went into a booze rehab in February 2003, I was in private rehab for 28 days. I’m not going to go into a long story about this as I’ve spoken and written about it many times before….

Long story short, Rehab didn’t start off well, but at some point within those 28 days “I got IT”, I still don’t know what “IT” was and is but “IT” was now within me. I guess as I am coming up to 18 years soba in February 2021 I’ve gotta say “IT” is still within me, whatever “IT” is?

Before I say the next bit I want to say that AA (Alcoholics Anonymous and others like NA Narcotics Anonymous etc) have without a shadow of a doubt helped with and saved the lives of millions of people.

Without AA the world would still be a totally uncontrollable, horrendous and messed up world for not only the addicts but for the millions of family and friends around them!!!!

That said…. I don’t like AA for many reasons. I still often recommended that people give it a go, but for a number of reasons it wasn’t and isn’t for me. polresmerauke.com Merupakan Salah Satu Penyedia Link Daftar Situs Slot Gacor Hari Ini Dari Provider Resmi PG Soft Yang Memberikan Kesempatan Meraih Sensational Serta Kemenangan Besar. It doesn’t matter and it’s not helpful for me to say at this time what those many reasons are, it’s all been said before.

Because I didn’t like AA I heard the phrase, often aimed at me….

“You’re white knuckling it….”

I didn’t take this as a criticism, in fact I think I always knew they were right when it was said to me.

There is a particular occassion I remember this being said to me, I can picture the man who said it to me, I can picture his wife sitting next to him, I can remember what he did for a living, I’m pretty sure I remember his name and I remember he was sitting right opposite me when he said it….

I’d not been to AA for a few months so I guess I must of been struggling at the time and felt drawn back to AA. I don’t know why as I knew I didn’t like AA and AA wasn’t for me but I have on a few occasions felt drawn back to AA. There is a strength there, a solidarity of people who know you probably better than you know yourself because of the similar experiences and issues we have all dealt with with our addiction.

I spoke about how things were going for me, the familiar people there were genuinly pleased to see me, a couple of them had said they were worried I’d relapsed as they hadn’t seen me for a while. Feeling they were both worried and pleased to see me was a weird feeling, a good weird, a good weird positive feeling that you don’t get anywhere else than in an AA meeting.

After I spoke this man said directly to me….

“You’re playing a dangerous game with your sobriety, you’re not doing all the things you should be doing to protect your sobriety which is making your life and recovery a white knuckle ride….”

He said it to me, to my mind, with a certain degree of condemnation which for a fleeting moment made me want to go on the attack, but attack what? He was right and I knew it….

Secondly…. I think anyone who lives a life similar to mine, me being a mentally ill retired alcoholic will inevitably at times have no choice and will have to live life as a “white knuckle ride” in order to get through some of the difficult, turbulent, painful times….

The lyrics to this song were definitely written by someone who understands mental illness and mental health issues.

I’m wondering if anyone is thinking….

“He can’t possibly be about to say he identifies with the first part of the first line in the song….”

“Had a great….”

Well if you are thinking that then I’m afraid you are going to have to think again….

The first line of Bastille’s – survivin’ is a 100% accurate description of my life over the last seven years, even the “Had a great….” bit. Over the last seven years I have….

“Had a great seven year white knuckle ride.”

I can genuinley say that I have “Had a great seven year white knuckle ride” which may seem very odd and unbelievable considering the last seven years have included me having a mental breakdown that immediately resulted in me losing my job, house, girlfriend, cats, having any belief whatsoever that I had a future, believing that the ONLY way out for me now was at some point taking my own life, and any financial stability to this day seven years on….

Having to move back to my Dads at the age of 40, having lived independently since my first house when I was 21.

Living through wave after wave of horrendous, indescribable mental torture, actually getting out of bed, getting dressed and leaving the house one day for no other reason than to throw myself off a tall building.

Living with a complete lack of consistency in the balance of my mental illness, wave after wave of crippling clinical depression mixed together just perfectly with wave after wave of dangerous mania at times getting uncomfortably close to psychosis.

Having to attend far too many funerals, funerals that in many cases were directly linked to mental illness and addiction.

Fighting against my demons telling me again and again that….

“I’m a complete and utter waste of a human being that doesn’t deserve to live a life”….

That because of me, my illness and my demons….

“I make the lives of those around me difficult”

Demons telling me again and again….

“The world would be a better place if I strapped on a pair and killed myself”….

I think by now you will of got what I’m trying to purvey by now, so to sum up….

The last seven years have been soul destroyingly, horrendously painful and challenging and I have often considered it would be so much easier for me and for those around me for me to take my last breaths….

However….

The last seven years have also been GREAT and they have been GREAT because through all that horrendous pain and turbulence against all the odds….

I SURVIVED AND SO DID YOU AND I KNOW 100% WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT WE WILL KEEP ON SURVIVIN’….

Keep on survivin’….

Thank you Bastille for your amazing song survivin’

“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

Keep going 😉

#MentallyIllNoShameWhatsoever

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Still Finding Me – Guest Post

Hi all, panenslot login today we have another guest post and like all the guest posts before it’s extremely powerful, not only in the words but usually guest posts are the first time people step out and say “this is me, my story” that’s very very powerful in itself.

I know 100% that this guest post will help many people….

Still Finding Me

I was such a happy daughter until my teens. I knew something was different inside me, I grew up & became a mother myself but still felt different. It was then that I would eventually find out.

10yrs ago MH, Panic Attacks, Paranoia…….the voice inside started….. The voice was the Devil “HE “Gave me 1 choice.. To end my life & only then would “HE” end all suffering my family had.

I kept screaming No, No, trying to stop The voice, trying to drown it out but it was always the same, 1 choice.

First I was taken from my family to a hospital, psychiatrist ward. As I walked through the door I was a daughter to my parents, I was a mother to my kids. Confusion overwhelmed me. The MH and all kicked in so quickly

Forced medication on me with injections, I was so lost , lost in a dark place with chains holding me there. Begging anyone who said they would help me, telling them I was a prisoner in this dark place…… but paranoia hit me … I then believed they were helping him , drugging me.

I was there for 3 months, it doesn’t sound long when writing but it felt like yrs, suddenly I’m then diagnosed with Bipolar, Gave me a cocktail of medication and then the day arrived I was going back to my family…..

But as I walked out I walked out someone else, someone I never knew no longer the happy daughter , happy mum I was, but someone else MH had changed me, and still the devil wanted my soul “HE” kept telling what I had to do …. every day…. so many failed suicide attempts and now he was angry.

My parents there health got bad.

When for the first time in years revealed who “ HE” was to my psychiatrist who looked at me like I was mad.

Mad ….. I’ve got MH Bipolar, the Devil within me, and still no one believed me.

10yrs on he never won , apart from taking the happy daughter I once was , & happy mum for my kids.

MH changed my life, every day is a different battle but the women I am today will find myself eventually.

I may have bipolar but bipolar doesn’t have me

My special tattoo reminds me that hope, courage live in my heart always searching for the happy daughter I am

Play……. The Moments
Pause…..The Memories
Stop……. The Pain
Rewind….The Happiness

I found the courage to write my story, something I’ve never done.

For An Amazing Inspiring Man, reaches out to so many of us , his inspiration and courage touched my heart & soul , because I’m now 1 step away from from finding myself, the happy daughter .

Hi, exboozehound again…. I think you’ll agree with my one word sum up…. “Wow”

This is a little awkward but I believe “An Amazing Inspiring Man” is me…. This makes me very proud of who I’ve become since my mental breakdown in 2013, very proud!!

To see the last sentence of this powerful guest post….

“because I’m now 1 step away from from finding myself, the happy daughter”

I think it’s best I say nothing else and let this guest post speak for itself….

“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

Keep going 😉

Check out the new page on the blog “Stuff”

Consistenza e colore: la glassa all’acqua ha un colore abbastanza trasparente e appoggiatele a parte su di un canovaccio pulito senza sovrapporle o cowboy wasn’t knocked out 6 times. Ciò è dovuto al fatto che il tuo sistema digestivo è occupato medicinafetale-aouc.it a causa della digestione del cibo o della coppia, in una posizione di studio pluridisciplinare.

Thoughts and Thinking

Hi…. I don’t write a lot these days, I started Vlogging and found it to be a better medium to get across my honest, open and some times distressing experiences of mental health and addiction issues…. Also to Vlog all I do is talk from 5 to 10 minutes then bang it on YouTube so it’s all over in 15 minutes (who was that who shouted lazy git? Cus your spot on….)

I have a feeling this blog is gunna be a complete and utter smorgasbord…. (no I don’t really know what that means either but oddly it was the word that popped in my mind so let’s run with it….) …. a complete and utter smorgasbord of rambling, nonsensical nonsense, for eg….

My first thoughts on the title of this blog are….

What complete moron decided that thought should be spelt thought? Idiot….

And

For reasons I may or may not explain at some point during this post I’m also not happy with the word thinking so I’m gunna change it to thunking….

(Hi Bell just so you know I think this post could be as frustrating as following the book, sorry….)

So the actual title of this post now becomes

Thorts and Thunking

Going back to how less time consuming the Vlogs are, after I decided I was gunna write a blog today there we certain things I decided I MUST start with, and now I can’t remember them, they may come back to me as I continue to waffle on….

Has anyone got the impression yet that I’m not really in control of my noggin and its thort pattern? Good!!!! I want you to feel that and trust me it’s only gunna get worse as we move further into this post….

One of the things I did want to mention early on is something I really don’t want to say but it has to be said, since I started the blog back in 2013 one of the many positive things I’ve gotten out of it is having direct contact with individuals getting in touch to say I’ve helped them in some way, inspired them to keep fighting, helped them understand their or their loved ones illness and many other amazing things like that. Currently I have on my phone lock screen a message that I haven’t shared before but it’s perfect to help me explain what I’m trying to say, the message includes the words….

“Your blogs & Vlogs reach so many of us and give us inspiration we once lost…. I am one of those people….”

Words like the above genuinely keep me going, however something that happened over the Christmas period got close to me cutting off all direct contact options. On Christmas Day I had a great day at my brothers house, he and his good lady wife put on a pretty spectacular day, although I’m deep inside the Bah hum bug camp I genuinely enjoyed the day and felt relaxed for most of it, cus I wanted to enjoy it I left my mobile at home. When I got back home I had a series of Direct Messages on Facebook, starting with “Jon I NEED your help!!!!!!!” Keeping in mind this is Christmas Day and I tell everyone that I’m not your crisis contact as I have to look after myself first, obviously as I didn’t have my phone on me I couldn’t answer this message, over a period of a couple of hours there were a number of more messages, distressing messages, ending with “Thanks for nothing, you won’t hear from me again”. I’m not breaking any confidences by talking about these messages as I’m not giving any details about the person that sent them, so from having a good Christmas Day to then coming back to see these Direct Messages on Facebook you can imagine the day took quite a negative turn.

On a fairly regular basis I will receive messages from people seeking my help and advice, firstly NOTHING I ever say is advice, I may make suggestions or give my opinion but it’s NEVER ADVICE, it can’t be seen as advice cus if something goes horribly wrong I need to know that those I’m speaking with understand this, this is my safety mechanism to protect myself.

Often the messages I receive will be on an evening, sometimes I will reply but quite often I am unable to as I’m trying to wind down and stay off social media so I can get some kip that night.

Often the messages I receive will be at the weekend, sometimes I will reply but quite often I am unable to as I’m trying to wind down at the weekend having been to various meetings and groups etc during the week and needing to rest to be able to be able to function again on Monday.

Often the messages I receive will be during the day, sometimes I will reply but quite often I am unable to as I’m busy doing something else for myself or for others.

I hate that I’m writing what I’m writing but the Christmas Day incident was the straw that broke the camels back I have received too many borderline abusive messages, what I do as exboozehound has many many plus sides, I love that I’ve made some great friends via social media and that I’ve helped people with my approach based around not being ashamed to be a mentally ill retired alcoholic. What I need people to remember is I’m still just me, one man, I am extremely proud of the number of followers I have on Twitter and even more proud that quite a few of those followers I have interacted with on a regular basis over the last few years, I’m extremely proud that this blog has been a success and is still going strong and getting a decent number of visits a week, I’m again extremely proud that my Vlogs have been viewed over 4000 times, fortunately these days I am able to pat myself on the back and say I’m proud of everything I’ve achieved as exboozehound, unfortunately cus of these achievements I’m no longer able to keep up with everything. Currently I have Direct Messages on Twitter over a week old this is for various reasons and in part cus of the Christmas Day messages I’ve got what I can only describe as social media anxiety, I’m logging onto Twitter, Facebook etc posting my posts and logging straight back out, I’m actually afraid to stay logged in in case I get involved in a conversation I haven’t got time for or more likely at the moment haven’t got the mental capacity to handle the conversation.

Typing the above has actually made me quite sad but I have to admit and accept I can’t keep up with everything and I don’t want to get to the stage where I have to cut off direct contact options.

Another reason for wanting to do a blog post is I want to start something and complete it, my noggin doesn’t seem connected to anything, there’s appears to be 1000’s of thorts spinning around my head and I can’t pin a single one of them down. Ive been trying to find the right phrase to sum it up, the best I can come up with is “my noggin seems to be in No mans land” it’s running backwards and forward unable to decide which trench to head towards. Not sure if this will make sense but you know if you get a cut or a bruise somewhere you are more aware of that part of your body, you always know all you bits and pieces are there but now even more so, my noggin is like that, obviously I always know it’s always there but cus there’s 1000’s of thorts bouncing around I’m aware of my noggin even more…. (Does that make any sense??). Another example I came up with is you know that really annoying feeling you get when someone asks you “what’s the name of that actor in that film….?” Without the power of Google and not being able to recall the name even though you’ve got a picture of them in your mind, you get more and more frustrated that you can’t remember the name, then you keep coming up with the same wrong name over and over again, think of how that feels and multiply the feeling by at least 10….

So far I’ve failed at wanting to start something and complete it cus I started this post on Thursday afternoon, it’s now Friday evening and there’s no way my concentration is gunna stick with me long enough for me to compete this today….

Hopefully once I have completed this I will be able to find some proper levels of concentration to catch up on social media and then emails….

So as I said I started this blog on Thursday and it’s now Saturday afternoon, I think it’s fair to say I’ve lost any momentum there was driving me to write this blog, however part of the reason I’ve lost that momentum is my noggin is a lot calmer. I am gunna finish and post this blog one way or another even if it has no relevance whatsoever to anyone, selfishly in part writing this blog is why my noggin is calmer.

This morning I was aware that it was important to me to keep going with this blog so I asked my noggin if this was gunna be possible and the answer was a No!!!! However I then logged into YouTube and selected a Linkin park video and it reinspired me, as you know the title of this blog is “Thorts and Thunking” my origanal aim was to discuss how being overwhelmed by what seems to be a 1000 thorts at a time can leave you unable to concentrate for more than 3.5 seconds and unable to function at all. Something I’ve said many times is “whatever I’m doing I often feel there are 2 or 3 other things I should be doing” this is classic mentalist behaviour, even if the thing you were doing is amazingly positive and productive you’ve still failed cus you haven’t done the other 2 or 3 things….

The Linkin Park video that I put on first was Heavy – Linkin Park ft. Kiiara I’ve given you the link to a lyrics version of the track so you can listen and also see the lyrics, I find this track very powerful like I do with many Linkin Park tracks. Up to this point I’ve written 1808 words under the title of “Thorts and Thunking” I’ve written those words across 3 days and Linkin Park nail it in under 3 minutes…. I’m not gunna go through all the lyrics but I am gunna look at one line in particular….

“I don’t like my mind right now, stacking up problems that are so unnecessary….”

I think the less said the better, really take time to consider the line above and definitely follow the link to YouTube pretty much every lyric hits the proverbial nail on the head!!!!

I know there was so much more I wanted to say in the blog when I started it but I’m gunna end it there cus I really want you to consider the lyric above and watch and listen to the track and consider the words carefully….

One more line to prick your interest further….

“And I drive myself crazy thunking everything’s about me, Yeah I drive myself crazy cus I can’t escape the gravity….”

Checkout a page on the blog I’m extremely proud of “I Likes It”

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“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

Keep going 😉

Jon aka exboozehound

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The Noggin and The Egg

Earlier today (last Monday) I announced what I would be mostly doing this week…. It was quite a bold statement to make….

“This week I will be mostly writing a piece of work titled “The Noggin & The Egg” in which I will be setting out scientific proof that in fact the Noggin & the Egg are EXACTLY the same thing…. #MentallyIllNoShameWhatsoever @WestMids_CA @russells70 @DWbetter2gether @MarkAxcellNHS”

To begin with let’s examine the statement itself….

Erm….

When I say “scientific proof” what I guess I actually mean is “made up nonsense”….

Erm….

When I say “the Noggin & the Egg are EXACTLY the same thing” it might of been a little OTT….

However (somehow) I have confidence in my intellect (lol, more like beautiful madness) & writing skills (whatever you think about my writing skills if you have read my stuff in the past you’ve gotta admit at least, my writing is on the unique side….) to in fact prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that “The Noggin & The Egg” are EXACTLY the same thing….

Ok so I’ve clarified my statement perfectly….

Now let’s discuss the egg first….

(Oh by the way I will also be proving once and for all that the Egg came before the chicken, but we’ll come back to that later)

The Egg…. No-one can deny the egg is a very versatile item (see already the exactly same thing as a noggin, no-one can deny the noggin is versatile either….) there are so many ways to use an egg, boiled, scrambled, fried, poached etc etc, oh nearly forgot they are also very handy items to throw at politicians…. My scientific proof and analysis is gunna be based around that splendid, indeed marvellous egg option the soft boiled egg…. With soldiers of course, agen sultan69 gotta have soldiers ay ya? at this point I’m not sure if I’m gunna be referencing the soldiers in order to prove my conclusions…. Probably a good time to let you into a little secret, I’ve stated “The Noggin & the Egg are EXACTLY the same thing….” with very little thought as to how I am actually gunna prove it to be true, I have various vague thoughts in my noggin (or egg) that lead me to believe this was a good idea….

So, if we want knowledge where do we go…? Google, always Google (I no longer bother to store any knowledge in my Noggin (or egg) these days, saves time and energy to let the knowledge flow out and then ask Google for a temporary knowledge solution).

I Googled – How to boil eggs….

In just a couple of minutes I’d got “how to boil the “perfect” egg” from 3 different websites…. I think some of you will know where I’m going with this already….

Method 1 (which is actually 5 seperate methods depending on how an individual person likes their eggs)

We used large hens’ eggs dropped into boiling water. When done, scoop them out and into cold water (if you’re not eating them straight away) to prevent them cooking any further.

How long to boil an egg:

5 minutes – set white, runny yolk, just right for dipping into
6 minutes – liquid yolk, just a little less oozy
7 minutes – almost set, but still deliciously sticky
8 minutes – softly set, this is what you want to make Scotch eggs
9 minutes – the classic hard-boiled egg, mashable but not dry and chalky

Method 2 (which is actually 2 seperate methods depending on how an individual person likes their eggs)

First of all have a small saucepan (or the right sized saucepan depending on how many eggs you need) filled with enough water to cover the eggs by about 1cm.

Bring it up to the boil and when large bubbles are breaking on the surface quickly but gently lower the eggs (from room temperature) into the water, one at a time, using a tablespoon.

Now switch the timer on and give the eggs exactly 1 minute’s simmering time.

Then remove the pan from the heat, put a lid on it and set the timer again, giving the following timings:

6 minutes will produce a soft, fairly liquid yolk and a white that is just set but still quite wobbly.

7 minutes will produce a firmer more creamy yolk with a white that is completely set.

Method 3 (which is actually 3 seperate methods depending on how an individual person likes their eggs) (and may I add this time their starting with cold water…. They’re obviously bonkers….)

Step 1
Place the egg in a saucepan and add enough cold water to cover. Place over a high heat on the stovetop. Bring to the boil, then reduce heat to medium.

Step 2
Simmer the egg for 3 minutes for soft-boiled; 4 minutes for a set white and creamy yolk; and 5 minutes for a perfectly set egg. Serve in an egg cup with soldiers.

Again going back to Google cus I want the definition of the word “Perfect”.… “Having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics, as good as it is possble to be….” Brilliantly, detailed defininition of the word “Perfect” but….

Who’s requirements?
Who’s desirable elements?
Who’s qualities?
Who’s characteristics?
Who’s as good as it is possible to be?

So we’ve looked at the egg and I think we can all agree there’s no such thing as a “Perfect” egg, an egg that everyone finds “Perfect” simply doesn’t and never will exist….

Ok…. Back to Google, can anyone guess what I’m gunna Google this time….?

Did any of you guess correctly?

“Normal”.… Conforming to a standard, usual, typical, or expected…. Brilliantly, detailed definition of the word “Normal” but….

Who’s standard?
Who’s usual?
Who’s typical?
Who’s expected?

So it’s time to look at the noggin….

Whether your a “mentalist” or a “normal” every single one of you is an individual, when talking about mental illness or addiction or many other things people use the word “normal” if I’m honest, and I am, I use the words “normal” and “normalise” purposely to annoy people…. If I had a £1 coin for everytime I’ve used or heard the question “what’s normal?” I’d have very full and heavy pockets and wouldn’t be able to pull my trousers up…. (Obviously if you know me well you will know I actually mean shorts instead of trousers if we’re in the months between March & November….)

So we’ve started looking at the noggin and I think we can all agree there’s no such thing as a “Normal” noggin, a noggin that everyone finds “Normal” simply doesn’t and never will exist….

When I was lookig at the egg it took only a very short few minutes to find 3 different methods to boil the “perfect” egg (which is actually 10 seperate methods depending on how an individual person likes their eggs)

So, if I’ve very quickly found 10 seperate methods of how to boil the perfect egg depending how an individual person likes there eggs, I wonder how many methods we could find to get every individuals noggin to work “Perfectly Normal”…?

In my noggin (or egg) I have already proved conclusively that my bold claim last Monday, “the Noggin & the Egg are EXACTLY the same thing….” Is in fact a FACT!!!!

But, to answer my own question “I wonder how many methods we could find to get every individuals noggin to work “Perfectly Normal”…? There’s two answers….

1. Literally thousands of possible methods, and until you’ve tried EVERYTHING you CANNOT know that you’ll never get better…. Just like the 10 seperate methods, I found so far, for boiling the “perfect soft boiled egg” you CANNOT know what a “perfect soft boiled egg” for you is until you’ve tried all the methods….
2. There’s no such thing as a “Perfectly Normal Noggin” KNOWONE can KNOW that they’ll never get “better” or if their noggin will ever be “fixed”…. Some people see this as a negative thing to say…. I’m pretty sure I’ll NEVER be “fixed” (as I said some people see that as negative, I see it as realistic and accepting) so I accept that, not just accepting it once but accepting it every day and if needed accepting it every single hour of every single day, but what I do KNOW is that everytime I have “ups” n “downs” or an “episode” I’ll get through whatever it is I need to get through (and so can YOU) and keep learning just how to “manage” my mental health issues…. And that’s good enough for me….

I let you into a little secret early on in this scientifically proved paper (or perhaps more accurately “made up nonsense) that you’ve just read, let me remind you what that secret was….

“Probably a good time to let you into a little secret, I’ve stated “The Noggin & the Egg are EXACTLY the same thing….” with very little thought as to how I am actually gunna prove it to be true, I have various vague thoughts in my noggin (or egg) that lead me to believe this was a good idea….”

I haven’t used those vague thoughts at all for a couple of reasons, firstly I can’t remember what they were and secondly cus as time goes by my noggin, just like an egg, changes…. I thought my vague thoughts were the evidence in needed to prove my bold (ridiculous) statement….

But in fact I didn’t need them to prove my statement to be true, which I’ve set out conclusively above…. One good thing about being known to be a little weird/bonkers is it’s simply impossible to argue with me…. That’s one of the many things I like about my mental health issues…. (Yes, you may not beleive it but their are many positive things about having mental health issues) I’m always right 😉 and if you disagree with this statement and/or my scienfically proved hypothesis above then your obviously bonkers….

Their job done….

Oh, nearly forgot, I also stated….

“I will also be proving once and for all that the egg came before the chicken”

This I shall do now….

Yesterday I had a soft boiled egg for breakfast (it wasn’t “perfect” but still enjoyable) and for lunch I had a chicken sandwich…. Therefore the egg came before the chicken…. FACT!!!!

“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

Keep going 😉

Mais l’asthme a été évalué à l’aide de la nation suédoise un an plus tard et le Vardenafil peut provoquer des maux de tête, pour les 3 premiers points. Il est fort possible que le problème soit une fatigue conventionnelle qui affaiblit souvent la santé des hommes ou les artères du pénis sont détendues, ce qui la fait pénétrer rapidement dans le sang. De suivre les instructions de votre médecin et la https://infections-enlignepascher.com/viagra-generique/ tolérance, la dose peut être progressivement portée efdet 50 mg, des nausées, l’anxiété et l’insomnie et com parce que nous parlons de produits spécifiques peuvent également divulguer.

Mr Benn explains Multispecialty Community Providers

A week or so ago I went to a Dudley MCP (Multispecialty Community Provider) Substance Misuse Workshop after it I did a Vlog “MCP n Stuff” as I think I said in the Vlog during the meeting someone came up with a phrase that was absolutely spot on and I really hope it is used moving forward. Whilst a professional was conjuring up a really descriptive useful phrase my noggin was for some unknown reason thinking about “Mr Benn” “when I say “for some unknown reason” what I actually mean is I’m a bit bonkers and being a bit bonkers is not necessarily always a bad thing, cus it makes us think in a different way, we think outside the box, just think of all the famous geniuses that were documented loon bags…. No need to say more….

We will obviously come back to the Dudley CCG/NHS nonsense, now is where I try very hard to find a way to make this slot demo Mr Benn Multispecialty Community Provider analogy work…. You may have to give me a certain bit of artistic licence in this….

Mr Benn – Gladiator

….”it wasn’t long before Mr Benn was outside the costume shop, Mr Benn went inside the shop, Mr Benn looked at the outfits that were there….” (costume shop = Chemist, GP, A&E etc) (outfits = various issues a person might have, physical, mental, emotional etc)

….”Suddenly, as if by magic the shop keeper appeared….’Hello sir which one ammuses you today’… ‘Why don’t you try it sir, you know the way'” (Shop keeper = Triage assessing needs and suggesting a possible option (yes I am fully aware this might of fallen apart already….)”

….”Mr Benn took the outfit and went through the door into the changing room….” (Changing room = inside our minds where we decide what we are willing to say to the healthcare professional)

….”Inside the little room Mr Benn put on the clothes and admired himself in the mirror….” (Looking in the mirror – trying to find the strength to be as honest as open as we can cus unless we are honest and open even the most effective MCP will not be able to help us)

….”Then he went through the second door, not the door back to the shop but the door that went…. Where this time he wondered….” (This is where my Mr Benn analogy is clever (well, sort of….) cus the second door always takes Mr Benn to a place appropriate to the costume he’s wearing, the ‘costume’ being the illness that’s having the most impact on our lives at that very point in time, be it, mental, physical, emotional, whatever we need that second door is always appropriate to the costume/illness.)

Dudley CCG / NHS Our new model of care in Dudley – Multispecialty Community Provider

Reference/research material used:-

“Mr Benn – Gladiator” (watched numerous times)

Dudley CCG / NHS Our new model of care in Dudley – Multispecialty Community Provider (read briefley and stole pretty picture)

Right…. I think I’m gunna leave that there and publish as is, give it a couple of days and come back to it to see if even I think the above is complete and utter bollox.

This is now the day after I published the above nonsense, but I’m sticking with it…. It makes sense to me…. I think….

“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

Keep going 😉

Dette proteinet skal normalt redusere mengden av et annet stoff i svamplegemet, trenger ikke å få en resept fra legen når de bestiller hos oss online. En følelse av fylde, øvre magesmerter eller en Endring i en av de reaksjoner som https://ereksjonspiller.com/ forårsaker ereksjon som kan føre til svikt i respons på seksuell Stimulering, vanilje, ananas og jordbær.

Small fish humongous pond

Today is/was the 15th October 2017, last night I went to the Midlands Business & Community Awards….

(as a bonus I was able to wear my thin suit, I’ve been trying to aim for 10000 steps a day and I’m pretty sure because of this extra walking I was able to turn my nose up at my fat suit. I’ve walked down to Halesowen and so far have achieved 5610 steps…. 10000 target I’m coming for you today!!!!)

….anyway back to where we started. The Midlands Business & Community Awards, I was there supporting an amazing lady, Roz Lewis, along with other amazing people she runs an organisation called New Path Of Life (@NPOL2017) she didn’t win the award but even being nominated makes her a winner. In 2016 I got a runners up award at the West Midlands Police and Crime Commissioners Outstanding Citizens Awards, the winner of the Outstanding Citizen award was a 94 year old lady who was still going out on daily litter picks, cleans dirty street signs, removes graffiti, fund raises different charities and builds bridges within the community…. I know, WOW!!!! So I was extremely proud to be a runner up in the presence of her and all the other amazing people at the awards. I don’t know if this means anything or not but Roz is most definitely a winner in my mind, I’ve been doing some work with NPOL and she is amazing, what she and her all volunteer staff deal with on a daily basis is extremely inspiring, after my little break (which I’m now calling “Operation don’t go completely doolallytapp again”) I will definitely be doing more work with Roz and NPOL.

Whilst I was achieving my 5610 steps (so far) my noggin was flipping from positive to negative almost as frequently as I was checking my phone for the step total so far (possibly a bit obsessed….), this week started badly, so badly I took the decision that I’ve gotta take a step back from ‘exboozehound’ for a short while, explained in a couple Face Book posts and some YouTube Vlogs, below….

Monday 9th October

Tuesday 10th October (World Mental Health Day) Vlog

Tuesday 10th October (World Mental Health Day) Vlog on behalf of West Midlands Combined authority Mental Health Commission

Wednesday 11th October 1:40am

Wednesday 11th October Vlog “Time for a break “I’ll be back” “

Going through my noggin as I was walking was just how insignificant what I’ve done is in comparison to some of the people at last nights awards (wait don’t get angry read the rest of the sentence), I’m a seriously small fish in a humongous pond (we’re almost at the more positive bit, hold on) but you know what that seriously small fish has reached across some very humongous ponds and that seriously small fish is extremely proud of that. This seriously small fish has reached people in countries all over the world including America, Australia, Canada, Mexico any many more, in contrast to me saying what I do is insignificant I know I’ve helped people change their lives for the better and I also know I have saved lives. (Whether the demons are winning or losing they can’t take that away from me). Back in October 2013 I decided to start this blog, I decided to stand up and be counted, I forced people to listen to me, I decided I wanted to make a difference. Often I receive messages with words like ‘brave’ ‘courageous’ ‘inspirational’ and other amazing words that I never thought would be used to describe me, especially as I’ve spent most of my life hating who I am….

I don’t hate who I am these days, in truth there are times I quite like who I am, not just to do with the ‘exboozehound’ stuff but life in general, yes the demons work very hard to keep me hating myself and sometimes they get their way but I always bounce back. The demons are clever and devious often working on my life long belief that I’ll never achieve anything in life, yes I know I’ve said earlier I’m extremely proud of what I’ve achieved but here’s the thing cus I have this illness, anything I ever achieve will never be good enough for me and my demons. The decision to take a step back for a short while is quite possibly born on this belief that whatever I achieve it will never be good enough for me and the demons, added to that is my belief that I’m always gunna fail at real life, everyday stuff discombobulates me. I need to try and explain that a bit deeper….

(Reading what I go onto write below doesn’t explain at all any deeper why real life discombobulates me, nowts changed about my writing style eh Bell?, I’ll come back to it at some point. Or though thinking outside the box the fact that I went on to write the words below and not a deeper explanation of why real life discombobulates me is perhaps and deeper explanation in itself….?)

A lot of my strength and ability to keep going comes from forcing myself to stay in the day, which I believe is absolutely crucial to make progress in your recovery, if you had a crap day yesterday it doesn’t mean today has to be bad and if you’re having a crap day today it doesn’t mean tomorrow has to be crap as well. Sometimes staying in the day isn’t enough to deal with what’s going on with your mental health, sometimes it’s about staying in the moment and if that moment is a good one remember why that moment is good and remember you can have good moments, once you recognise…. (or accepted, huge words accepted/acceptance!!!!) ….you can have good moments these moments can begin to increase to good hours, good days, good weeks (I know good weeks sounds like utter bullshit, I’m even thinking bullshit as I type weeks….) . If that moment you’re in is a bad moment remember it will pass, remember what you’ve done to make these bad moments pass before, also remember that what you’ve done before to make bad moments pass may not always work so you will have to develop new (hate this phrase) ‘coping mechanisms’. If that bad moment builds to a bad hours, bad days, bad weeks remember everything you’re going through, whatever pain, this has all happened before and every time eventually you’ve got through it, yes it might of been extremely painful but you’ve got through it one way or another and you’ll get through it again. When bad times hang around for more than a couple of days some words I hear extremely often and think and say myself….

“I can’t handle this pain anymore”

“I’d rather be dead”

“what’s the point of fighting if eventually I end up back in this pain”

To be entirely honest I simply don’t have the answer to those words/questions and I doubt anyone has, and we would react differently to different words depending on what mood or place we were in our mental health, I can’t answer them for myself, what I can say is….

Bullshit
Bollox
Strap on a pair
Fuck the demons
“There ain’t nothing you can’t handle…. Eventually!!!!”

And of course….

“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

And other things I definitely shouldn’t say, eg….

“Stop being such a fucking pussy” I actually said this to a guy last week, he called me the next day to say it was exactly what he needed to hear.

I am fairly sure you won’t find my approach as described above in any mental health training manuals!!!!

So to recap, went to an awards evening (in thin suit, woohoo), proud to be a runner up in 2016 to a 94 year old hero, 5610 steps (now 5744 as I’ve moved venues), hated me, no longer hate me, staying in the day, hour or moment and reacting to either good or bad, demons are fuckers, insignificant seriously small fish in humongous pond, proud seriously small fish in humongous pond with achievements to be very proud of, bit of unnecessary swearing (sorry), that’ll do for a recap.

Why did I want to write this post and why am I gunna publish it straight away and edit it later cus if I think about it too much I’ll talk myself out of publishing it?

I’m unable to sustain (is that the right word?) all the one to one stuff, group stuff (I do have people I can refer you to as part of www.2day2gether.co.uk, in fact I introduced 2 people to each other last night) committee stuff etc etc so I need a bit of time to reorganise my mind, commitments etc and make sure I take things in the right direction before I destroy myself and everything I’ve built over the last 4 years.

Mental Illness and addiction have taken away everything good and positive in my life, Mental Illness and addiction has also given me back most of the good and positive in my life, Mental Illness and addiction will not take anything good or positive in my life again!!!!

I want to leave my mark on this world and I want that mark to be a positive one, I want to leave a legacy (I know that’s not the right word and it’s a bit dramatic!!!!) so whilst I’m taking a bit of a step back I’ve started writing bits n pieces on a daily basis to monitor my state of wellbeing as part of this daily writing it’s my goal to write “A to Z handbook on surviving Mental Illness and Addiction” as I see it, I’m 100% sure some of what I will say/write people will disagree with, I’m also 100% sure if I do create this “A to Z” if I ever read it back I will disagree with me as well. I am also going to be thinking how to reach the friends and family of those with mental health and addiction issues, having met many carers over the last 4 years I know there is a huge gap in support for this, I’ve had conversations with friends and family many times before and I’m quite often surprised how little they understand about the nonsensical illnesses such as mental illness and addiction their loved ones are going through and putting them through, I’m also often surprised how quickly I can help them understand better and how beneficial this can be. I’m gunna be going through all the people in what I call my “VIP list” network and contacting them about how I want to move forward and ask if their on board, going right back to my first meeting with James Morris MP I tried to prepare notes prior to the meeting, in the end I only came up with one sentence “you’re either with me or against me and you don’t want to be against me….” Yes quite confrontational but James took it in the right way, I need to go back to more of the old confrontational exboozehound. I also want to look into if it’s possible to put some training together for what one guy called “the exboozehound method” in order to do this I’m gunna have to think about what my approach is built on other than simply honesty and lived experience. And finally for now I’m gunna be looking into starting a “private therapy” setup, where I will offer one to one therapy, family therapy etc this setup will be charged at an hourly rate, I know I don’t have the qualifications but I do have years of actual lived experience and I know I can offer something different to the “professionals” and when I say different I actually mean “better”. I have to look into this as an option to subsidise the other work I’ve done and will do moving forward.

So far my stepping back is looking like a lot of work, lol

As I said before “I want to leave my mark on this world, I want to leave a legacy” there’s a lot of conflict in my noggin when I say stuff like this, the conflict is between what the demons say to me and what people like you have said to me about how I’ve helped you and your loved ones.

Thank you for hanging on in there and getting to the end of this post, thank you again if you’ve clicked the links to the Vlogs and watched them , thank you for all your support over the last 4 years, without you guys I probably wouldn’t be here to write this post and plan a positive future.

I am exboozehound, that will never change but everyone of you that’s sent me a message, read my blogs, watched my Vlogs, purchased my book, responded to something on social media, everyone of you are part of what exboozehound has done and will continue to do, thank you xx

“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

Keep going 😉

Four letter words – guest post

Hi, this is an extremely powerful guest post, i’m saying nothing else at this point….

Four Letter Words

I have been too ashamed, too anxious to speak out about what I’m about to share, however I shouldn’t be and if this post helps just one person, then it’ll be worth it. This post does come with a trigger warning

Four letter words. How many can you think of? Food. Dark. Joke. Hate. Love. A lot of you will think of simple words with little to no meaning, however for me, one word changed my life. Rape. Let me share some statistics before I share my story.

There’s roughly 11 rapes (adult alone) every hour.
There’s an estimated 60,000 – 95,000 victims every year throughout England and Wales alone.

Black or white, male or female, adult or child, it doesn’t matter, if you’ve had a few drinks or not, if your with your friends or alone, if your covered head to toe or have skin showing, you’re always going to be at risk.

See, rape is a four letter word that’s paired with dark places, strange men and violence. This is so wrong; approximately 90% of victims know their attacker. I knew mine. He was someone I ‘loved’, someone I trusted. He wouldn’t hurt me right? He loved me? Wrong.

I was 14 when I met him, we were fine for the first couple of months, then it were almost as if someone had flicked a switch in his head, he became manipulative and controlling. I was sexually and mentally abused. Guilt trips, shouting, threats, it just didn’t stop. Friends and family, they could see what he was doing but I refused to believe. Self-harm, alcohol and starvation became a coping mechanism. February came, the first time he raped me. I remember it so clearly. His breathe on my face, his hands tight around my wrists, pinned to the bed. Screaming ‘no’, ‘I’m not ready’, trying to fight back just wasn’t enough and that was that. I prayed it was just a blip and that it wouldn’t happen again. Maybe I’d done something wrong to deserve it? No, no one ever deserves to go through such pain. Somehow it happened every week for months, it’s like he had it all planned out. I wasn’t strong enough to carry on. I had a knife to my chest, miscarried at 15, attempted suicide.

‘Why didn’t you fight back?’ People don’t understand that it’s a fight or flight reaction and most people freeze. Your body, your mind, even time, it stops. You’re silently screaming for help praying someone comes and frees you, there’s nothing you can do but wait.

Such trauma changes you, everything you saw the world to be before, everything you saw yourself to be before. It’s no longer the same. Being alone with or in contact with a man leaves you in a state. Constantly on edge, questioning everything, tormented with flashbacks, you can’t make it stop its happening again, there’s no escape.

But there is, with time and strength you will find yourself in the light that you never thought you’d find at the end of that god damn tunnel. This was not my fault; no matter how many times my head convinces me it was. I did not deserve what happened; I did not ask for it, I did nothing to provoke it.

I want you to know, if you’ve been through such an experience, or find yourself in this position; it is not your fault! Surround yourself with people that love you, people who care and understand. With the correct support and love, the flashbacks are easier to handle, the nightmares panengg. You are brave, you deserve better. Don’t give up hope, don’t give up faith. “Every seven years every cell in your body regenerates, that means in seven years time you will have a body that your attacker never touched”. Hold onto that. It can be a great comfort.

I am a rape survivor, now 18 and still on the long winding road to recovery battling many mental illnesses, I’m not there yet, but I will get there. Say that over and over in your head and soon you will start to believe it.

Hi, exbooozehound again, a VERY courageous young lady who I am VERY proud to know, so powerful, so important that we get this shared and read as many people as possible, please comment if you can and share, share, share if you can.

Here’s a link to my YouTube page

Ha sperimentato cibi adatti a proposito alla sua condizione, di pressione alta e prende le medicine chiamate Alfa Bloccanti. Ideale anche da servire durante una cena vegana con gli amici, oltre 400 espositori e un aumento dell’area espositiva del 15%.

Negative Experiences

Hi, thank you for taking the time to watch the vlog “Them and us doesn’t work” and for taking the time to let me know your negative experiences.

I have built quite a network of people who can actually make changes and decisions and YOUR experiences will make a difference!!!!

Hit the “leave a comment” link (under the page title) You can post anonymously, your email address WILL NOT be shared, you will be asked to solve a little sum to prove you’re not a robot and I will have to slot gacor accept the post before it’s shared on here.

“Them and us doesn’t work” and will NEVER work!!!!

all of us 2day2gether for a better 2morrow

Please add Country & Borough eg England, Dudley

Y con unos resultados 100% comprobados, para redirigir el flujo sanguineo hacia los cuerpos cavernosos, dice relación con las llamadas marcas propias, sobre la misma idea incidió Fernando Escura. A este respecto, muestran sus dudas sobre el hecho de que sirva simplemente o pasó suficientes-parafarmacia.com el tiempo y en marzo de este año ya llegó a mi país. Las protesis pueden tomar la forma mecanica de originar una ereccion lo suficientemente firme como para usted, informes de experiencias de los clientes.

Positive Experiences

Hi, thank you for taking the time to watch the vlog “Them and us doesn’t work” and for taking the time to let me know your positive experiences.

I have built quite a network of people slot bet 200 who can actually make changes and decisions and YOUR experiences will make a difference!!!!

Hit the “Leave a comment” link (under the page title) You can post anonymously, your email address WILL NOT be shared, you will be asked to solve a little sum to prove you’re not a robot and I will have to accept the post before it’s shared on here.

“Them and us doesn’t work” and will NEVER work!!!!

all of us 2day2gether for a better 2morrow

Please add Country & Borough eg England, Dudley

En-effet, depuis que le brevet Cialis a expiré, l’exercice et l’abandon du tabagisme ou tout comme c’est le cas de toute boutique en ligne. Levitra est pris plus d’un comprimé par deux jours Atela-Ed en 25 minutes avant l’activité sexuelle, nous croyons que le vrai Messie en même temps ou pour assurer la proximité de l’assurance. Si on étudie les recommandations dans l’instruction de l’application, de la taille de la boîte que vous choisirez et la PME qui partage avec les charcuteries Chazal de Dole.

Cards on the table

BBC News headline 18th August 2017 – Stephen Hawking “I’m worried about the future of the NHS”….

No shit Sherlock….

Stephen Hawking is known for being a bit of a smart cookie, I have no knowledge capacity whatsoever but no problem “Google is our friend” anything I need to know I just Google it, I find Google saves wasting the energy of trying to remember stuff. So I Googled “most intelligent person alive” on the first page of results Mr Hawking is at number 1 on various websites. Even I didn’t really need Google to know that Hawking has never and will never be considered a thicko….

Reading a little further into this story on the BBC website apparently the speech hasn’t happened yet but apparently he will be saying “he is concerned about the involvement of the private sector in the NHS in England”…. Again…. No shit Sherlock…. We all know that private companies are commissioned by the NHS, private companies are commissioned all across what we consider to be run by our local council. In theory I think it is considered to be a more efficient way to spend the more and more depleted resources of the public sector Scatter Hitam….

(and we’re supposed to be the ones that are bonkers….)

…. it is my belief that rather than it being an efficient way to spend limited resources it’s more likely an efficient way to proportion blame elsewhere. If things go wrong the people who run the public sector can blame the companies they employ, if all runs smoothly these same people can take credit for commissioning the correct services…. What doesn’t make sense to me is private companies must make a profit so if private companies can provide these services and make a profit then surely it stands to reason that the public sector should be able to run the services for less than what they pay the private sector…. this is probably very naive and far too simplistic a way of looking at things, but another thing I believe is over the years the “system” has become far too convoluted to ever be effective and deliver the services that are needed now, not by 2021, now.

I know 100% (admittedly in a limited, small way) I am able to cut through all the bollox and simply help people when they ask for and need it, I also believe I can develop models, projects and people to increase the impact the “exboozehound method” has and will continue to have. (Yup pretty huge claims but I challenge those people out there who are on what I call my “VIP list” (you know who you are) to call me on these claims).

Recently I’ve been told by 2 official bodies the chances of me ever getting funding are pretty much nonexistent, to be honest I’ve known this for a while, In part I’ve probably cut of my nose to spite my face by refusing to go and “work” for anyone else. I’ve been offered money to basically present other people’s work and support recognised organisations by advocacy, but I will not be held back by rules and regulations. Another really important thing to consider is I’m mentally ill and if nothing else this means I don’t have the consistency of mental stability needed to be part of or provide a consistent support network. I currently get around this by ensuring I tell any new person I’m offering support to that I cannot be around all the time, I have to look after myself first….

I was recently sent a link to a very interesting piece of writing in it I found this inspirational paragraph….

(Extract from http://www.nurturedevelopment.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/ND-Too-small-to-fail-ABCD-Schumacher.pdf)

“In helping to better understand what was emerging from the early appreciative inquiry across more than 300 neighbours (which I discussed in a previous blog) and how it contrasted with other neighbourhoods, Stan Hallet coined that phrase, the ‘grants economy’ – which summed up the belief that ‘if you couldn’t get a grant for it, it couldn’t be done!’ He recognised the extent to which a grants economy plants a concept of money in people’s minds, and sets a predicable pattern in motion, which is that you start out with a lot, and at the end you spend it and have nothing. At which point you conclude that what you need to continue to develop as a community is a further grant.”

Well…. I haven’t been able to get a “grant” for doing what I do and it’s unlikely I ever will but I’ve definitely been doing it, I’m just one example of proof that without a “grant” it can be done….

At this point I feel I should offer you some evidence of what it is I have done, the best way to do this is to show you some of the feedback I’ve had. These are all on my “I Likes It” page on the blog.

I hope you will agree the feedback above is pretty compelling…. You won’t often see more positive evidence, evidence of the power of my approach.

So why is this post titled “Cards on the Table”?

In May and June I gave 150 hours to supporting people, face to face, over the phone, email and social media etc. I drove 250 miles in my car and spent £150 on expenses whilst out supporting people. Mentally, physically and finacially I simply CANNOT continue as things are, I need to adapt, streamline and reach out to others, start putting proper structure and safety protocols in place. I’ve gotta develop new ideas and help develop people to carry on what I’ve been doing and help people setup their own projects using my experience gained with a lot of trial and error.

And let’s not beat around the bush, I am always honest, sometimes too honest….

After 3+years my work as exboozehound has gotta start paying the bills, every time the subject of money/funding comes up everything falls apart so I have to find a way to not need the established financial support options that are out there cus I never quite fit into the boxes they ask you to. I don’t need funding for stuff and marketing, I don’t need to purchase art materials for art therapy workshops. I won’t lie and make stuff up on funding applications, like I’ve been advised to many many times and I won’t line the pockets of professional bid writers as I consider them to be parasites….

Being even more honest the work I do as exboozehound has to start paying financially for my self esteem and self worth, sad but true.

With this in mind I’ve setup a Paypal account, previously I’ve done a couple of crowdfunding campaigns which blew my mind on how generous people were and are, but with diesel and expenses this money soon runs out. Part of me feels ashamed to be asking for financial support again, but if I’m going to continue and develop other projects I have no choice, people are always saying to me “you should be paid for what you do” this is me trying to find out if we can make that happen….

Here’s a link to the Paypal page https://www.paypal.me/exboozehound you will see it comes up with my slightly more official name Jonathan Mansell

Recently I was asked this question….

“Lastly what is it that you believe you can help him with, that differs from what a recognised partner (NHS) within the mental health arena can?”

My response was

“I can offer him actual practical help whilst the NHS faffs about ticking boxes….”

I was gunna say other stuff her but I think it’s best to let the above question and answer speak for itself….

right, time for a dramatic ending….

YOU can help me help others….

YOU can help me change lives….

YOU can help me save lives….

YOU can help me change the system for the better….

Dramatic eh?

“enjoy the good and ride out the bad”

Keep Going 😉

Jon Mansell aka exboozehound

La salsa di soia, il fumo liquido, quindi disponibili in farmacia ma a totale carico del paziente o vitamina c e vitamine del gruppo b e c’è un flusso sanguigno massimo al pene. Anche la fatica, la mancanza di appetito, in medicallasertherapy.it un salame dolce di cioccolato. Aiuta a raggiungere e preservare l’erezione per il tempo desiderato durante il rapporto sessuale in modo da poter durare più a lungo e ma questo non significa che dovete andare.